Posted on by Adam Henley

Non sequitur/hilarious Facebook comments

(Warning: some vulgarity)

This blog post is devoted to the hilarious, usually non sequitur comments found through Facebook. I have not been able to cite everyone who contributed (you know who you are). Feel free to comment below to claim credit if you are the original source of any of these comments! If you read various comments on photos and videos, I’m sure you’ll see some of these floating around. Feel free to copy and paste one or two into random comment boxes 🙂 (please cite my blog post here if possible, thanks!)

Happy Commenting!

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I can’t think of anything to comment so I’m just going to post a Blueberry pancake recipe.

1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 1/4 teaspoons white sugar
1 egg
1 cup milk
1/2 tablespoon butter, melted
1/2 cup frozen blueberries, thawed

  1. In a large bowl, sift together flour, salt, baking powder and sugar. In a small bowl, beat together egg and milk. Stir milk and egg into flour mixture. Mix in the butter and fold in the blueberries. Set aside for 1 hour.
  2. Heat a lightly oiled griddle or frying pan over medium high heat. Pour or scoop the batter onto the griddle, using approximately 1/4 cup for each pancake. Brown on both sides and serve hot.

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Don’t let this distract you from the fact that Hector is going to be running three Honda Civics with Spoon engines. And on top of that, he just went into Harry’s and ordered three T66 turbos with NOS… and a Motec system and exhaust.

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to save you from reading everyone’s comments, here’s a quick brief. there’s someone complaining about:

  1. racism
  2. one dude said it’s funny as hell
  3. a feminist group saying “Womenizer”
  4. hundreds ppl tagging their friends.
  5. hundreds posting emoji.
  6. some were very upset and threatened FB.
  7. some wrote comments that make no sense whatsoever.
  8. some say this is fake and give you the detailed analyses Like CSI Detectives.
  9. some are asking for likes
  10. many saying she got what was coming.
  11. some have copied and pasted this message.

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Video was too long. Halfway through it, I got hungry so I left it playing and went to the kitchen to fix my self a sandwich. But then I found out that I’m out of mayonnaise so I went to a store. There, I saw the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my whole life. But I’m really a shy person so I took up a three-year personality development course so I can introduce my self. She was very friendly and all, but unfortunately, she has a boyfriend. So I said, all good, I’m a mature person. I want the best for her and I harbor no illusion that I am the best person for her and she seems happy with her boyfriend, so I did not bother her anymore. But we kept in touch and we became friends and I got over my crush on her. Then she broke up with her boyfriend, we drank some alcohol because of it, I told her she’ll be fine and I wished her well. I still think she’s the most beautiful woman in the world, but like I said, I am over my crush on her. It was like five years already when I first saw her. Besides, I am quiet happy with the friendship I developed with her. It was more important than a crush. So we kept hanging out, drinking, having coffee, and all. I had a girlfriend, she started dating other guys. My girlfriend wants to live some other life without me in it, so I said, okay, I want the best for you and I want you to pursue your happiness. My lady friend and I drank alcohol about it, and she gave me the same advice I gave her when she was in that position and I became okay with the breakup immediately. But we were really drunk, so she spent the night in my apartment. I only have one bed, so you know what that means: She took the bed and I slept on the couch. But on the couch, I really can’t sleep. Something was bothering me. So I tossed and turned for about three hours, then I finally can’t take it anymore, I stood up and went straight to my room where she’s sleeping. I approached the bed, gently sat on it and I reached for her shoulder to pull her closer to me. She stirred and woke up. She asked what’s up. I told her, you know, the first time I saw you, I was watching a video and left it playing to get my self a sandwich then went to the store to get some mayo then I got distracted by life that I forgot to finish the video. She said, you know what, I’ve been wondering about a weird noise in your night drawer. So we opened that drawer, and lo and behold, there’s my phone and this video still has two minutes of play time on it.

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In more important news, I’m having fettuccine for lunch today!

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Don’t let this distract you from the fact that …

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Im completely dumbfounded. I don’t know what I just saw. No clue how much of this is real and how much of this is satire. I’ll just quietly walk away now pretending to have never seen this.

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As a member of the Comment Reading Association of The World (CRAW), I’m only here to read comments. Please keep the comments short and simple. We do appreciate your typing effort. Also please watch your spelling. Thank you .

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Don’t let this distract you from the fact that in 1966, Al Bundy scored four touchdowns in a single game while playing for the Polk High School Panthers in the 1966 city championship game versus Andrew Johnson High School, including the game-winning touchdown in the final seconds against his old nemesis, “Spare Tire” Dixon.

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I was offered sex with a 21 year old girl today. In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a person with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available with scented lemon or vanilla.

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Taco cat

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ᵀʰᶦˢ ᶦˢ ˢᵒ ˢᵐᵃᶫᶫ ᵗᵒ ʳᵉᵃᵈ ᵉᵛᵉᶰ ᶠᵒʳ ʸᵒᵘ ᵇʳᵒ⋅ ᴰᵒᶰᵗ ᵗʳʸ ᵗᵒ ᶜᵒᶰᵗᶦᶰᵘᵉ ʳᵉᵃᵈᶦᶰᵍ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᵇᵉᶜᵃᵘˢᵉ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵉʸᵉˢ ʷᶦᶫᶫ ˢᵗᵃʳᵗ ᵗᵒ ʰᵘʳᵗ ˢᵒᵒᶰ ᶦᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ᵈᵒᶰᵗ ˢᵗᵒᵖ⋅ ᵂʰʸ ᵈᵒᶰᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ˢᵗᵒᵖ﹖ ⋅⋅⋅⋅ᵍᵒ ᵃʷᵃʸ ᵇʳᵒ ᵃᶰᵈ ʳᵉᵃᵈ ᵗʰᵉ ᶰᵉˣᵗ ᶜᵒᵐᵐᵉᶰᵗ⋅ ˢᵗᵒᵖ ʳᵉᵃᵈᶦᶰᵍ ᵃᶫʳᵉᵃᵈʸ﹗ ᴵ ˢᵉᵉ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ᵈᵒᶰᵗ ʷᵃᶰᶰᵃ ᵍᶦᵛᵉ ᵘᵖ ʳᵉᵃᵈᶦᶰᵍ﹖⋅⋅⋅ʷᵉᶫᶫ ᵒᵏ, ʸᵒᵘ ʷᵒᶰ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᵗᶦᵐᵉ, ᵇᵘᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ˢʰᵒᵘᶫᵈ ᵍᶦᵛᵉ ᵐᵉ ᵃ ᶫᶦᵏᵉ ᶠᵒʳ ʷᵃˢᵗᶦᶰᵍ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵗᶦᵐᵉ

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And on this day, a new Trump supporter was born.

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Some idiot found $150 on the street near Target today. He tried to give it to a police officer but the officer thought it was a prank and wouldn’t accept it. So this idiot bought himself a phone and groceries out of the store with the money. This is where it gets hilarious. The idiot kept tapping on …… See More

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I know this will probably get lost in the comments below, but sometimes when I’m home alone I like to go out in my garden and cover myself with dirt and pretend I’m a carrot

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As a member of the Comment Reading Association (CRA), I’m only here to read comments. Please keep the comments short and simple. We do appreciate your typing effort. Also please watch your spelling. Thank you and have a great day!

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Sometimes folks like to crash the party & put the focus on them💁WELP HOPE YOU GOT THE ATTENTION YOU WANTED👀

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Well to be perfectly honest, in my humble opinion, of course without offending anyone who thinks differently from my point of view, but also by looking into this matter in a different perspective and without being condemning of one’s view’s and by trying to make it objectified, and by considering each and every one’s valid opinion, I honestly believe that I completely forgot what I was going to say.

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This will make a fine meme for my collection

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Anyone else here just for the comments 👀

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¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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  1. I got a dig bick
  2. You that read wrong
  3. You read that wrong too
  4. You checked
  5. You smiled
  6. You are wondering why you’re still this reading this
  7. You saw that mistake… right? (On 7)
  8. But did you see that I skipped 6?
  9. You checked
  10. And saw you that I doubled 10 and skipped 9
  11. I said saw you, not you saw
  12. I also skipped 2
  13. You got tricked
  14. I’m just wasting your time go back to reading the comments

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* How to become a meme in 1 easy step*

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This picture says otherwise.

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I bet you $13456324567 dollars you didn’t read that number. You just skipped right over it. You didn’t even realize I put a letter in it. No I didn’t but you went back and looked. I want my like😛🤪 The Jigu 😉

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Spent 4 minutes watching this pointless video, and another 4 reading comments.
I am now 8 minutes dumber with nothing to show for it 🤤

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Just came to leave an English comment 🖐😂

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Juan Antonio Ricci first. You asserted something. That’s where you went wrong. Second, even if you assert something, unless you can prove why empiricism is empirically true, in this universe, given the infinite number of other possible worlds, with a great deal, probabilistically a non-zero number if them in which empiricism is unreliable, I wonder, how will you get enough data to prove that this universe is one of the ones where empiricism is valid?

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To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, line 87

“No”

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I always get the story from the comments. These sites have the longest story to get you to look at the advertising.

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In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous. In New York city, the dedicated detectives that investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit, These are their stories…

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Just here for the comments. As expected, they did not disappoint.

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For all the people who came here just to read the comments, please gather round. It’s selfie time!
😄😃😀😊😐😉😍😁
😘😚😨😙😜😒
😝😠😳😆

               📱
          😂/
          <)
           /\

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I’m selling popcorn for people reading the comments.
{__/}
( • . •)
/ >🍿
▪Regular 🍿- $2.00
▪Large🍿- $4.00
▪Extra butter .50 cents.
{__/}
( • ᴗ •)
🥤৵ \ ▪Add a Pepsi for only $1
{__/}
( ˘ᴗ˘ )
🍕৵ \ ▪ Pizza slices – $3.00

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